You know how you always hear people, especially brides, say they have been planning their wedding “since 5 years old”? Well, that wasn’t the case for me. Maybe I’m just not that kind of person but I’d argue having never seen a bride who is a wheelchair user had a pretty big impact on that.

To be honest the wedding world always seemed like I wasn’t actually welcome there (jokes on them, I work here now. HA!). Not as a guest, not as a bridal party member and definitely, definitely not as a bride. Every magazine, every show, every article I looked into featured only able-bodied couples, perfectly height matched processionals, winding staircases, and sandy shores. If a couple with a disabled partner was featured, it was only because someone “miraculously” walked down the aisle.

I have been injured for 20 years. I’ve spent more of my life in my wheelchair than out of it and while my physical wheelchair herself has changed, her essence has always remained the same. She is my bestie, my independence, the way I am part of this world. She’s been a huge component throughout our relationship, carrying me through our thick and thin. She is an extension of my body and part of who I am at my core. I love her and being without her is actually my personal nightmare. It might be hard to understand but there is no part of me that identifies with walking. If we had taken photos of me standing next to Jose, I don’t think I would have even believed it was me. Having her in every part of our wedding was what everything had to work around.

Now, maybe that seems simple. There are plenty of venues that offer beautiful flat spaces to work with ( I work in them all the time). However, I unfortunately am not that simple. You see, I am dying for drama, for intrigue, for a fucking moment! I want emersion, I want awe, and I’m not opposed to making people question everything they think they know. I didn’t see that happening at any of the existing venues we went to so we started talking destination weddings.

Now this might surprise you, but did you know there is like no information out there on planning destination weddings for wheelchair users?.. I know, you’re probably not surprised at all..

I realized pretty quickly that I wasn’t starting at square one like most brides. I was starting at ground zero and ground zero had no checklists, blogs, videos, ideas or anything really that offered any real advice. We decided to make a list 0f non-negotiables for us.

Non-Negotiable #1: Obviously, my wheelchair had to be there, and I had to be able to use her mostly independently.

Non-Negotiable #2: Where ever we go, it has to be accessible (as in grand scheme). There are some beautiful islands in the world but accessibility is just not at all of them.

Non-Negotiable #3: Accessible bathroom near by. This is obvious, the bride (groom/bridal party/ guests) should be able to pee on their wedding day, hard stop.

Non-negotiable #4: Must be epic AF!

Maui checked all the boxes.

One thing to know about me - I’m not super shy when it comes to telling people exactly what I need and exactly what I’m looking for. And working in the wedding world has let me in on a not so well known fact. Your wedding pros are working, scouting, teaming up and planning for the next great couple that wants something unusual, something untraditional, something dope. They want to give you that magic moment, you know.. that money shot. So the vendor search began!

When it came to details and logistics I knew the first vendor I needed to find was my photographer. You see, in the wedding world we all have our super powers. You want a special drink created that tastes like you, you talk to the mixologist or bar tender. You want a cake that defies gravity, you talk to your baker. You want flowers from Holland cascading from the ceiling with no water source for 8+ hours, you talk to your florist. You want to know about locations, their details, nuances and variables?? You talk to photographers.

I’m about to shock you, especially with how type A I actually am. Jose and I had never been to Maui before our wedding. There was absolutely no way we were going to be able to pick a location from California and being mid pandemic there was no budget for multiple trips to Maui. We needed someone there on the island who knew it. I started my search for a photographer that I felt a connection with (which is so SO important - we’ll talk about that in another space). I found AmyJaynePhotography and immediately swooned. I knew she was the one we needed to capture our wedding day. I emailed her right away and honestly, just laid it all out on the table. I told her everything we wanted and everything we needed. I told her what I had found online, what I was interested in and that my wedding vibe was - “like shipwrecked royal coven ball..in jewel tones”. And of course, followed that all up with the caveat that it MUST be wheelchair accessible.

You guys, she didn’t just make it work. She. Brought. Options!

I LOVE options, and you know we so rarely get them.

Amy truly went above and beyond for us. She went to new places, to known places, and even talked to other vendors on the island for ideas and tips. She sent us photos and videos with details of things she noticed, where help might be needed and what kind of barriers would be in our way. After just a few conversations we had 2 locations locked in, one for our first look and one for our ceremony. They were both pure magic.

Unfortunately, due to COVID restrictions coming back our planned reception had to be canceled. We rolled with it though (like we do) and had our guests meet us at the Cliff Dive Bar at our hotel The Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa. There, we spent the night surrounded by our closest family and friends. We drank too many Mai Tais, ate the best bar nachos and snacks and swayed with the island music.

Our day was perfect. Completely stress free? No. One day I’ll tell you about my ring not making it to the ceremony. But for now I’m just going bask in the memories.

Getting Maui'd